You've had a baby and it's time to go back to your old job...or is it?

Had a baby and realised you don’t want to go back to your old job or career? You’re not alone. Emma Mclean from Works for Everyone shares how to tune in and move forward in the right direction.

Long gone are the days where we had one job, in one company, for life. Thank goodness! In fact, some experts think that our children will have on average, three different careers in their lifetime. So, if you’re thinking about going back to work and have this nagging feeling in your gut that you don’t want to go back to what you used to do, don’t worry, you're not alone.

In your time away from paid work and in between the sleep deprivation, you will have had different experiences, gained fresh perspectives, and had time to think. Becoming a parent is a transformational time in your life where you're quite literally transforming. Don’t fight it, get curious about it, and try to embrace the change.

The frustrating thing for many of us is that we know what we don’t want in terms of a job, but we don’t know what we do want. If this sounds like you, here are some practical steps you can take to get you closer to knowing what job you want to return to.

REMIND YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR STRENGTHS

Whatever role you go back to, make sure it is playing to your strengths because that way you’ll be giving yourself the best chance of success. When we spend our days using the capabilities that we are strong in, we get more satisfaction and meaning from our work. Write down the things that you are strong at, the things that when you do them, they give you strength.  And keep reflecting on these strengths as your future role will have them at their core.

It is also good to talk about your strengths with your friends as it can help to clarify exactly what you mean. For some of us, it can feel strange talking about our strengths but embrace this feeling and keep moving forward. After all, if we don’t talk about them, who will?

GO BACK TO THE FUTURE

Sometimes the answer to what is in front of us is to look behind us. Simon Sinek (who has a great TED talk on finding your “WHY”) tells us that our purpose is often an origins story. It is seeded when we are young adults before we developed any thoughts around what we 'should be doing'. So take yourself back there to the time before you had responsibilities and remember what you enjoyed doing, how you spent your time and what was important to you. To bring back these memories, my clients often find music helpful. Listening to the music you used to listen to when you were at high school or in your first job. In my case, as soon as I put on some Alanis Morrisette, I'm taken right back to my flatting days in Mt Vic, Wellington in 1995.

WHAT WOULD YOUR PERFECT JOB LOOK AND FEEL LIKE?

Dream big with this one! Get a blank sheet of paper and create your perfect job. How will you feel getting up in the morning? What do you look forward to? Are you working with customers? Are you working alone? Do you travel during the day? How do you describe your day when you meet a friend for lunch? Get your creative thinking on-board for this exercise as it will help you identify the 'big rocks' that need to be in your next role.

STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

While this seems rather odd advice, sometimes we get the answer to something when we stop looking for it. Delete SEEK off your phone and focus back in on yourself. Find something to do that brings you joy – and do it. Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn or a club you’ve wanted to join? Do something just for you. When Patricia Grace, one of Aotearoa, New Zealand’s most accomplished authors, mother to seven, and teacher was asked “You have lots going on in your life, why did you write?” She replied, “I needed something for myself”. We all need things for ourselves. Find yours.

The time we spend at home caring for our family is precious. When I think back to my days with three children under five years old, this quote from Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project) really sums it up for me. “The days are long, but the years are short”. If you can carve some of this time out to plan what you want to do next, then your future self will thank you. Onwards and upwards!

Emma Mclean is the mother of three almost-teenagers, an ICF-certified coach and the founder of Works For Everyone, a coaching and consultancy business that is focused on keeping women in the leadership pipeline. worksforeveryone.co.nz