Bottle Babies

There's not much on FF out there, so this thread is great.
I still feel guilty DS is on formula now, it's when I'm reading baby-care articles which are always written with the assumption that you're BFing that make me feel the worst.
I thought BF was going ok for the first 3mths, though looking back maybe not. Mth4 was really hard work. Plunket didn't believe anything was wrong as DS was gaining weight. I was convinced he was starving. At 4mth 1wk I went to the Dr to discuss FF & solids as I thought his problem was hunger. She thought it could also be silent reflux.
That night, formula & gaviscon and I had a new happy baby.
I had a plan to slowly switch him from his 10 BFs to FF. DS had other ideas.
By day 2 I was thinking, OK, 2 BFs per day and the rest FF. By day 4 I was thinking, OK, if I can just get him to have 1 BF a day. By the end of the first week he was 100% FF. My breasts only got engorged once, I guess that means I really didn't have much milk for the little guy.

Anyhow, why I'm really writing on here is about quantity and frequency.

I read somewhere he should be getting 150ml x weight in kg divided by number of feeds per day. Though I read somewhere else that at each feed if there's about 10-30ml left the amount it right.
DS is 7.5kg = 1125ml
He gets 4 x 240ml during the day (7, 11, 3, 7) then we give him 120ml when he wakes over night (approx 4am). If we give him more at 4, he then can't be bothered with breakfast and I'm still hoping he'll give up the 4am feed soon.
Out of the day feeds he finishes (like sucking air) 2or3 feeds, and leaves most of the other (random which one rejects).
So as he gets heavier, he needs more FF, right? Where do I stick the extra feed in? Or perhaps I should have a little 60ml bottle on standby for those feeds he's finishing? Or does it not really matter once he's moving on to solids?

So I have made the decision to fully FF as of Friday night. I vowed that I would not beat myself up about it if BF didn't work out but as I am sure everyone here can understand, you just can't help it and I feel like I have given up too easily.

BF was going really well as far as I was aware - I was in hospital and had great MWs on duty who assisted for the 5 days I was there (I had csection because DS was breech). As he was jaundice though he was incredibly sleepy and it took a long time to feed him.   He lost 8% of his weight which seemed to be okay.

Once we got home, it was getting harder & harder to keep him awake and it took around 1 & half hours to feed - we got a blood test done and his jaundice levels had increased - not quite enough to put him under the lights but combined with a further weight loss, the MW told me to ensure that I woke him every 2-3 hours to feed and to do all possible to keep him awake - fan, ice cubes, flannels etc. He had also lost more weight and he was up to just over 10% loss - total of 6.4 pounds (he was 7.2 when he was born).

When she came back 2 days later he was pretty much the same weight - i was relieved that he hadn't lost more but was worried that he hadn't put on anything. MW said to try boob for 30 mins, then top up with EBM or FM. DH went out and got me a pump and away we went. I couldn't get the amount needed so had to top up with FM - so boob 30 mins which no success as he no longer would take it, but keep trying anyway just in case, EBM & FM - 1.5 hour or more process as he was still so sleepy.

After 3 days of this regime, MW came back - he had only put on 40g. She didn't seem overly concerned but said when she came back in 5 days time, he really needs to have put on a decent amount if possible.

I packed in the expressing on Friday night. I feel incredibly guilty but also relieved at the same time. I don't feel he was thriving on my milk - it could be a coincidence but since we have gone fully FF, he has been awake during every feed and has woken me a number of times when I have gone a bit over the 3 hours to let me know he is hungry.   I am wondering if perhaps I was not getting enough of the hindmilk during expressing? My boobs had become quite engorged even though I was expressing every 3 hours and I emptied them each time (this was probably user error on my behalf or maybe because I was using a hand pump not an electric one?).

The thing that disappoints me is that when BF was working well (ie no sore nipples, he latched, it was just keeping him awake and the lack of weight gain that was the issue) it was enjoyable for me. I just didn't seem myself expressing long term or until he learnt to latch again if ever. But guess I just have to remember that what is right for mumma is right for baby?

Edited by monkey33

Oh hun try not to beat yourself up about the decision you have made! Your bub is little for such a short amount of time you need to cherish every little moment. Think about it, if you we're still struggling with breastfeeding/expressing, worrying about his weight loss/gain that's not very enjoyable for either of you is it? So if your decision to FF makes him gain weight and be happy then it should make you happy too! There's soooo many things to worry about with a little one, you're not doing anything wrong by formula feeding, you're not poisoning him or hurting him so don't stress! I think it's perfectly normal to feel sad when you stop BF though, but that will pass

There are so many people out there that think BF is best and you should FF as a last resort and that's cool, each to their own! But there's also people like me who think if the baby seems happier and more content being bottle fed then give them formula!! But by choosing to FF you shouldn't feel bad or guilty, you're doing what is best for you and bubs. You can still enjoy feeding them!! I love feeding Ty, he's not a cuddly baby and its the only time I get to snuggle up to him!!

Hi monkey33, went through exactly the same thing, Georgia just wasn't gaining weight etc. 2 months on and I'm so glad I made the decision. Honestly, the guilty feeling will go once you get the smiles and happy baby looks!
Has it's advantages too, some of my family members have loved being able to feed Georgia, great for bonding. And DH loves to do the odd feed too.
Try not to listen to comments made by some people. I've had the odd one and have just smiled and said my baby is a lot happier now. People don't know what it's like to have a starving baby on their hands, not a nice experience at all.

I'm another bottle feeder. I have been desperate to breastfeed and gutted that it hasn't worked out. My milk never 'came in' in the normal way and now with numerous pumping sessions per day and use of a lactaide nursing supplementer, I express about 30% of DDs daily intake. I have tried domperidone, acupuncture and herbs of all kinds but it has not made much difference and as DD is now 9 weeks old there is not much chance that things will improve further. I am slowly coming to terms with being unable to exclusively breast feed but it has been hard and my moods have been really up and down.
Has anyone else felt like this and when did you stop being sad?

Hi Vanillabean

I've been there and it's amazing the pressure we put on ourselves, and the guilt we feel when reality doesn't live up to expectations! I really wanted to exclusively BF, but my son was on a mix of formula and EBM right from the beginning, and at about 9 weeks I began to fully FF. I felt really guilty about this and bet myself up quite a bit.

I'm not sure when it got better, but it did (he's 14 weeks now). He's a happy wee boy and is clearly thriving. When I'm giving him his bottle he looks at me and gives me big grins, so he clearly has no complaints! I think my biggest fear was people would think that I was a bad mother for not BF, but the people who matter don't.

Lililly, thanks so much for passing on these links. I found the FFF blog fantastic and your own story very moving. My own experience with breastfeeding has been a huge learning experience for me in not judging other people's parenting decisions. If breastfeeding had come easily to me I think I would have had some degree of judgment towards formula feeders but now I have a great deal more compassion for us.

I have let go a lot of my grief over my inability to breastfeed and have come up with a combination of EBM and formula feeding which I am finding sustainable right now. This thread and other online resources have been really significant for me in overcoming my initial feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Hi guys

Thought I would join the club of  bottle feeding.

I went into BF with the attitude that I would do my darndest and really try but if it didn't happen so be it that at the end of the day you have to feed your baby.

I've seen too many of friends just feel so bad when they had to go to FF I was determined not to be one of them.

 

Anyhoo we started BF with a hiss and roar.  Both myself and my wee girl were pro's for first timers.  I even coped with the cracked nipples and such but then things went a bit sour.  One of my nipples was always sore even though the cracks had cleared and it was to the point I had to nearly bite on a flannel when she latched.

After feeding my nipples would continue to be soooo sore and sensitive and my boobs would really hurt.

Then one night I realised (after expressing) I didn't have enough milk..........didn't even get 60mls.  So after half an hour of battling with my inner voice I made the decision to go out and get formula.   Bubs had a great feed that night and slept really soundly so happy mum.

I think half the battle was making the decision but once I did I was OK with it.  I continued to do half and half for a while and express.  Finally MW sent me to GP regarding the pain and as MW suspected I was diagnosed with Raynaulds Phenomena.

I got pills to help but unfortunately I think it was too late as my milk pretty much dried up so now we are exclusively formula.

I'm totally fine with it now.  Bubs is getting plenty and she sleeps really well and the little chubba chub is putting on great weight.  And I look at all the positives such as now my hubby can do a feed when I feel too tired and need more sleep

I also know I gave bubs 3 weeks of the good stuff so thats better than nothing.  I do miss the convenience of BF when out and about but I have coped so far and so has baby.

 

I think its a shame there is not so much info for FF mothers.  I was quite surprised with my plunket visit yesterday the nurse didn't make me feel bad and gave me a booklet all about FF and reassured me I was doing the right thing...........that was so nice to hear.

All in all this BF thing is hard and I don't think they really tell you that before hand.  It might be a natural thing to do but it doesn't mean that it comes naturally!!

Ooops sorry about the long post but just thought I would share my experience. 

MinaNZ - definitely don't profess to be any kind of expert on formula, but I recently found this article on what the different things in formula actually are. I wish I had found this when changing to mixed feeding with DD.
Unfortunately I never found a lot to help me choose and in the end did a lot of reading on different brands websites and made what I felt was the best choice. Only other suggestion I have is if you are trying different ones see if you can get the single serves before spending up on a tin.

Good luck and I hope you find the right one for your DS.

Since my last post we have managed to get Callen's reflux under control and had him on Heinz Nuture Plus (for hungry unsettled babies) for the last 3wks. He was really good the first week and half, but since xmas has been unsettled. Some days he seems to struggle going toilet and other days its so runny that its easy for him to go. Could this be due to the casein in the formula? Should i try a Whey formula?