The family home takes on a whole new meaning when three generations live together. As Pauline Harris, mother of four and grandmother to five, explains, sharing a house can work on many levels – when the right foundations are in place. As the cost …
Use your words! Encouraging words and phrases to say to your child
Parenting expert Amy McCready shares her encouraging words and phrases to say to your child – big or small.
Do you ever feel like the only words that come out of your mouth are direct orders? “Empty the trash, be nice to your sister, quit jumping on the couch!!!” A big part of preventing bad behaviour, however, is to provide encouraging words to reinforce good behaviour when you see it.
And a quick “good job” doesn’t cut it—in fact, phrases like “good boy,” “you’re so smart!” and “you’re the best on your team!” are not considered encouraging words. Instead of focusing on positive internal qualities, they put the emphasis on outward praise, which does nothing to promote good behavior in the future.
True encouraging words focus on the deed, not the doer. It motivates a child from the inside to demonstrate similar positive behavior in the future, and to value things like hard work, improvement, teamwork and perseverance.
Here are some encouraging words and phrases to say to your child:
Thanks for your help/ That was really helpful.
You should be proud of yourself!
Look at your improvement!
You worked really hard to get this room clean!
Thanks for helping set the table, that made a big difference.
I noticed you were really patient with your little brother.
What do you think about it?
That’s a tough one, but you’ll figure it out.
I love being with you.
You really put a smile on her face with your kind words!
That’s coming along nicely!
You really worked it out!
That’s a very good observation/question.
Thank you for your co-operation.
I see a very thorough job!
That’s what we call perseverance!
I can tell you really care.
You make it look easy!
You’ve really got the hang of it!
I can tell you spent a lot of time thinking this through.
I really feel like a team when we work like this!
The best part about using encouraging words with your kids is the glow of happiness you’ll see on their faces. After all, “Your hard work is really paying off!” says you noticed their work, while, “You’re so smart,” might be hard to live up to next time. Try a few of these encouraging words with your kids, and watch their behaviour—and effort—improve.
Amy McCready is the founder of positiveparentingsolutions.com
Miriam McCaleb explains how stopping to simply wonder can grow superpowers of the mind. We’ve learned a lot about brain development in the course of one generation. We developed neuro-imaging technologies: ways of looking beneath the skull and …
Colin Gruetzmacher checks the rear vision mirror and gets a fresh perspective on hitting the road with his young family in tow. Do you ever have those moments of clarity when things come into focus and you finally feel like you understand your …
Miriam McCaleb finds out what respect means in the world of parenting, and how it helps raise competent, confident and curious children. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Oh, how we love our babies. And just in case we’re not feeling it, …
The nightmare of earthquakes has become a reality for many New Zealand children in recent years. Hannah Davison talks about a night her family will never forget and strategies for recovery. 💨 Monday 14th November, 2016, 12.02am. 💨 Depth: 15km. …
Digital technology plays a big role in modern life but its effects on our very foundations - relationships and family - are worthy of discussion. Miriam McCaleb talks tough about technoference. Living in our little slice of the modern world is …
To resist technoference taking over your family life, we recommend the following: 1. Read The Big Disconnect by Catherine Steiner-Adair, and check out www.timewellspent.io. 2. Keep playing together. Occasionally tech may be the shared focus, but …
Young family, early evening: too often this is all it takes for mass meltdown. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Jessie Jarvie shares how to stay one step ahead. It’s the middle of the afternoon and you’ve just nailed your budget presentation at …