Daytime Sleeping Issue

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the forums and was wanting some advice.

Our little girl is just over 4 weeks old. For the past week she has suddenly stopped sleeping during the day unless she is out in the buggy or in the car in which case she easily sleeps 2-3 hours in which case she is out like a light in a few short minutes. She will take the odd short nap (20 mins) in a bopster pillow on the couch during the day but otherwise if we spend the day at home she is virtually awake from 7am to 7pm. She has a real day time aversion to her bassinette in particular. When I try and put her down in her bassinette during the day she will stay quiet for between 5 and 20 minutes before she starts screaming. I don't go in straight away. I usually leave her for 10 minutes or so before trying to shush her back to sleep. I repeat this twice more before I admit defeat and get her up. I have put her down both awake and asleep but the end result makes no difference. Unfortunately she works herself in to such a state which is hard to see and hear and I feel like the worst mother!

On the upside she sleeps very well at night (between 8-9 hours with one feed somewhere in the middle) and she goes down really easily to her bassinette during the night time. This happens regardless of whether she sleeps during the day or not so she is not doing these long night time sleeps out of exhaustion. So, why the daytime aversion to the bassinette and what can I do about it?

She's a very slow eater (it takes just over an hour all up) and I keep a close eye out for her tired signs (she's a yawner and a starer) but even when I see them and I know she's tired she still fights it and wants to stay awake. I really appreciate the fact that she's a good night time sleeper but I just don't get anything done during the day. Sometimes she is happy to sit and look around, other times she grizzles and cries and the only way I can get her to calm down is to feed her which then interupts the rough routine of the day.

I thought she might like to sleep in the living room during the day to be near me so we set up a hammock and we also have two different bouncers but to no effect. We also have a front pack but I am yet to try this out. I worry that if she is awake all day that this is going to harm her in some way. I feel that she is just too little to be awake all of this time. But then as my Midwife said "You can't make her sleep".

Does anyone have any advice for babies who refuse to sleep in their bassinettes during the day? Or sleep at all during the day?

So sorry for the long post! Any advise would be really appreciated.

Thank You :)

Penny.

I completely understand where you are coming from.

I have a 10 week old boy and from about 7 weeks his day time sleeps have been a nightmare. He also can be up from 7am-7pm unless I take him out in the car or buggy. He obviously loves movement. That will teach me for going to the gym on a daily basis right up until his birth (including the treadmill on the day I went into labour!!)

But seriously, I'm having exactly the same issue. I have tried everything to try and get him to sleep in his cot during the day - white noise, letting him self settle, rocking, swaddling, patting, putting down asleep, putting down awake etc. I thought I would get tough three weeks ago and do the let him cry for 5, 7, 10 minutes with sshhing after each interval, but this has seen almost no change.

On a good day it takes me around 30-40 minutes to settle him to sleep, only for him to wake 45 minutes later (sometimes only 10 or 20). I try to resettle him as I can see he is tired, but the long process starts all over again to the point where he is still awake when its time for his next feed. That's if I haven't given in already and gotten him up. So on average he would get say 3-5 hours of sleep during the day which are all in short spurts.

At night he is an amazing sleeper. He goes down at 7pm and sleeps through to 6.30am with a dreamfeed at 11pm. I too, appreciate his great night sleeping but surely he should sleep during the day more too.

I'm almost to the point where I accept the fact that 'you can't force a baby to sleep if they don't want to' but like you, I know he should be and feel like a failure that he can't.

I've decided I'm going to take him to the doctor next week just to check that he doesn't have silent reflux or something.

I'm at a complete loss and I'd love any suggestions or thoughts too

So Penny - you are NOT on your own if thats any consolation!!!!

My DS was not a good sleeper under 4mths. Not great between 4 -8mths. Now he's a good sleeper
Unfortunately I can't really offer any advice because I don't think any of the improvements along the way have been anything I've done - it's all him.
A few things I'd do differently if I could have his new born/early months again. . . .
I'd get a sling, one of those criss-cross ones.
I'd buy a baby swing (powered rocker)
I'd complain less about him only sleeping in my arms (I miss it now).
I'd relax a little more when his pattern didn't fit the model for his age.

safety sleep.....my boy wouldnt sleep until i put him in it..took a few days but with that and either a wrap or bag...slept like a gem

Could they be having growth spurts, babies do funny things during them, some eat more, some eat less and sleep more, some have more awake time...

Lily has 'periods' where she will sleep less. I remember around 4-7 weeks felt like she never slept during the day sometimes!!

Do you swaddle? Some babies love to be swaddled to bed!

ugh i remember those days only too well. We made the decision early on with a very nosy parker, spirited baby that it was important that he had day time sleep and so i made sure he had at least one long sleep each day, whether in the front pack or my arms or capsule etc.

The reality is that some babies need less sleep than others and are harder to get to sleep. Don't worry too much about trying to get all sleeps being longer than 45 mins, but it is worth trying. So maybe say to yourself, if baby wakes after 45 mins i'll try to resettle for 15 mins (however you can) and then just give up and start the awake time. Otherwise you can spend your life in there shh/patting. Which is soul destroying! Hopefully you'll get at least one longer sleep.

By the 3rd nap if no luck what i do is after 45 mins get him up and get him to sleep on me or in front pack so one sleep is longer. Then you can sit on the couch with him in your arms and read a mag or watch crap daytime tv etc.

Hopefully over time your little one gets used to the concept of longer sleeps.

Trying to get them to sleep in the first place is a whole different ballgame. Sounds like you've tried everything. I will say that often babies get better around 6-8 weeks of age and using whatever you can in the short term is worth it to get them some much needed sleep. Just vary the way, so one sleep in pram, one in capsule, one in front pack etc so baby doesn't become completely addicted to one particular way. You can always wean things later, but setting up good sleep patterns now is important i think.

I assume you've tried the swaddle, white noise, dark room etc. Dummy?
Family Centres are great, it might not all work but it's worth a go, and if you get one thing out of it then it's one more thing than you now have, i know people who have found it amazing for them.
Any family members you can ask for advice, someone to come and hang out with you for a day and help? Sometimes outsiders can see things you can't when you're emotionally attached.

These kinds of kids grow into cool, energetic little people but are tough work!

I would try your frontpack, or better still get a sling. My little one started doing exactly the same thing at around 4 weeks - no problems sleeping at night but just wouldn't settle in the bassinet during the day. I ended up just wearing her in my sling, or putting her in the buggy for all her day naps so I could get some stuff done during the day and we could both relax.

At about 12 weeks I started again with trying to settle her in the bassinet. I would get her really sleepy in the sling then quickly pop her in bed just before she fell asleep and keep my hands on her (rocking, patting etc) until she was asleep. I did this with one sleep a day to start with and would give up if it took longer than 20-30 mins for her to get to sleep (normally if she was sleepy enough when I put her down she'd only fuss for like 5 mins then be asleep). Pre-warming the bed with a heat pack works well too. I gradually weaned her off being in the sling first and rocking etc and now at just over 4 months she is pretty good at settling in bed for naps (but still has at least one nap a day in the sling when we are out and about). She still only sleeps for 30-40 min at a time regardless of what I try to do to resettle her, but at the moment I'm just going with it in the hope that she'll eventually start taking fewer longer naps!

I think at 4 weeks you should just do what you need to do to get her to sleep, and don't stress about whether the sleeping is happening in her bed or not. She probably still needs movement and to be snuggled up to Mum to sleep and you have plenty of time to get her into "good" sleeping habits.

My daughter did the same thing around 4 weeks. It drove me crazy.

I called Plunketline because she was doing the most disgusting crying - her face would go all red! They told me that she was overtired and had gotten to the stage where she needed to be taught how to get herself off to sleep.

I used a dummy and put her in the pram, locked the wheels on straight and rocked her over the bump between carpet and vinyl. It took 10 minutes the first time - you know it is working if the periods of silence between the cries increase. Over the next couple of days it rapidly decreased, until if I put her in the pram she would just fall asleep. I then moved her to her bassinette, keeping the dummy in. A few weeks later we got rid of the dummy. You can swaddle if you want using this technique. We didn't, because our daughter hated it.

From memory she would have been having at least three sleeps a day at this stage, maybe more? She was also sleeping a lot at night.

Good luck - sleep problems are just the worst! Try each technique for a couple of days - as it can take a wee while for the baby to pick up what you are teaching!